Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
