Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
