Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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