Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
