I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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