Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
