This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
