I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
