Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
