i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
