I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
