Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
