Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Small penises have feelings too.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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