btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
