You made me cry and you don't even care
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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