why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
where am i from again
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
