This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
