I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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