meet me or not, i'm out of control
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
tell me about the eggs
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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