There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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