i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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