And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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