Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
