Plan B is the new Plan A
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
