I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
