Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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