I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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