was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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