And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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