i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
