YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
