too bad you live with your parents still
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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