Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
