we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
