Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
you made out with another girl for some wings
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize