Porn is love you can see.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
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