My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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