super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i barfeds in our rink
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
