Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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