guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
