Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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