I think my vagina is haunted
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
