Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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