Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ambien. No doubt about it.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
