Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
