My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
