this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
