There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
