What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
