you win again, gameday.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
