yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
