I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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