So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
